Next Question Please

JULY 2001 - One day Pakistani journalists will learn the fine art of asking questions at press conferences. As things stand at the moment, this is highly unlikely. At President Musharraf’s press conference on Friday night there was a large gathering of the presswallas, but well-phrased, well-reasoned and brief questions were not in evidence.

What was in evidence, other than the President’s candour – and patience – he answered the same questions again and again, was the ability of everyone who managed to raise hands fast enough, to put such long-winded questions that it was a miracle the President was able to even remember where it all began. At such events, it seems the game is to hog the mike once you have it. Your 60 seconds of fame. Invariably this unfolds the scenario where the gentleman gets up and launches into a long preamble. This can either be a summary of what has happened so far or a summary of what events have led to this particular press conference. Having dealt at length with that subject, of course always from the point of view of the journalist which necessarily entails such timeless gems as ‘it is my considered opinion’ or ‘as I see it,’ or ‘the way I regard this’ and goes on in considerable detail to establish that the analysis is spot on and brilliant in its insight. Having put just about everyone to sleep in less than 2 minutes, the speaker then dwells on a number of story lines running helter skelter through the plot and traces a very complicated route through it, culminating in another brilliant analysis of the actual situation at hand. This is followed by more meandering. At this point, it is quite normal to throw in the super powers conspiracy theory – USA doesn’t want peace, China is not for peace and so on. Eventually there is a sort of question that is not asked but cast almost like a fishing line.

By this time, the person who is supposed to unravel this mystery, is about to keel over with a dizzy spell and is barely able to prevent his face from hitting the table. It is not unusual for them to ask at this point what the question is. This is not without its dangers as the question triggers off an avalanche of more analysis and theories and even then, the question remains vague and out of focus. On Friday night the usual mayhem was in place as various press luminaries stood up, rattled off the name of a publication most had never heard of and then proceeded to confound the President with speeches that seemed to have no end. To his credit, the President kept his cool, didn’t drum his fingers, didn’t twirl the green pen too furiously and even remembered to locate the question and make an answer. Of course having answered the question in detail, he was bamboozled when two journalists later, the same question was asked again, this time by another gentleman, from another unknown publication. This confirms my theory that press people at press conferences don’t really hear anything or that having programmed their question they are unable to change it and have to ask the question even if it has been attended to half a dozen times. Very strange.

Now and then, somebody actually gets up, asks a straightforward question and then sits down, but this is rare. So partial are we to the sound of our own voices, particularly when we are pontificating – which we always are, that nothing else quite measures up. The art of brevity is almost a banned science, so those expecting concise and crisp questioning should get out and take a long walk. On Friday night, the President answered the same question on Kashmir half a dozen times, adding each time that he had already answered the question. When one gent in a red and white striped T-shirt captured the mike and let off a volley of statements, much to the amusement of his colleagues who were rolling about in the background with amusement, I thought the President was going to have him removed, but this was not to be. The President had already praised the Pakistani media to the skies and congratulated them for the fine job they had done so far, so it was unlikely that he was going to tell the man to take a hike. He patiently attended to the windbag.

It’s not new. The windbags have been in business for years. Munir Hussain, who mercifully no longer does cricket commentary, was a great one for talkathons. I used to call him ‘the bionic mouth’ in sheer awe at the speed at which he could deliver sentences without pause. In cricket matches he was talking, talking and talking while wickets fell, riots took place, police lathi charged the spectators – ticket holders only as is the tradition and stumps drawn for the day. Sometimes by the time Munir Hussain was taken out of his monologue, a few Pakistani batsmen had come and gone. He was the one who began a TV interview with Asif Iqbal, then the captain of the Pakistan team and the question was so long that poor Asif asked when Munir Hussain paused briefly to inhale some oxygen, what the question was. As it happened, no one could quite remember and the interview went on at supersonic speed with Munir Hussain constantly talking. Asif got in a few singles and that was about it. In the end, it was Munir Hussain on Munir Hussain.

The art of asking questions, guiding the interview in the right direction, bringing out the most from your guest, is a difficult task and requires skill, sensitivity and sensibility. These three things are largely absent where media people are involved and the dream of letting your guest ‘have it’ is so strong that most people fall easy prey to its lure. Thus, at the end it is not whether the interview was good or bad but how beautifully the interviewer or compere had shafted the guest. The striped man must be boasting since Friday night how he floored the President and it is unlikely anyone is going to tell him that when you ask a question you don’t make a speech.

As for the press conference itself, it was a bit difficult to understand why the President wanted it in the first place, although he handled the inane questions pretty well. Other than thanking a lot of people and our media and making a few basic statements he ended up repeating and repeating the same points which we all know by heart. No one can disagree with the content of what he is saying and common people on both sides crave for peace and prosperity, but it is a long, bumpy road. For weeks before he left everybody and his aunt were holding forth on the Summit, Kashmir, Peace and everything in between. I didn’t know so many people could write so much about the same subject. Now that the Summit is over, an army of writers has risen, assaulting us with long analyses, theories and opinions. We all wish the President well, but editors should restrict more articles on the same subject and someone should disallow questions that have already been answered. As for the two Pakistani media people who misbehaved in Agra with Ms Nirupama Roy, shame on you. That was in very poor taste.