Falling like ninepins

NOVEMBER 2001 - Pakistan runs on hot air. That is easy to believe when you consider the large contingent of crackpots who vent their idiotic views daily on the people and make prophecies that are now famous for never materializing. There hasn’t been a day since September 11th when these prophets haven’t held forth, promising their listeners and readers every conceivable kind of ‘good’ news. The crystal gazers have been on a roll for years. Many have made lucrative careers and held influential positions simply spinning yarns and half-cooked, half-baked theories. Where no one could see beyond two inches, they saw through steel walls - plots, signs, indicators, conspiracies and hidden agendas – fairy tales and over ripe imaginations.

Whatever else may be true or false, the myths of yesterday have been blown to smithereens. The great citadels, about which these people ranted, raved and waxed eloquently, have fallen like sandcastles. If Pakistan has not gained a cent from all that has unfolded, it should sigh with pleasure at some big time favourite bugbears that have been finally put to rest, six feet under and permanently.

First the mighty Taliban, the ones who were going to fight for a million years, the ones who had brought the Soviet Union to its bloodied feet, the ones who were on the right path and therefore had divine sanction, the ones who were adept at all kinds of warfare and had a network of caves and secret passages that would befuddle and confound their enemies. All that mythology has disappeared faster than it takes to shave a beard in downtown Kabul. Those who swore that the Taliban would fight to the end have egg on their face – the desi, indigenous variety, with a stronger yolk which like the daisy cutter, explodes with good effect, particularly when it hits an obdurate chin that hails from the Stone Age. Following the expose that the Taliban were far from being done in – in fact they were holed up preparing for a strategic strike that would knock the stuffing out of the evil coalition forces, to the rather embarrassing retreat in the dark of the night, without so much as a passing obscenity to rent the air, the whole business has been a lot of hot air and no substance. The Taliban are no fighters; they never were. They were bullies and bigoted clerics who distorted a perfectly good religion to attain and hold power. There were many who proclaimed that God inspired the Taliban and therefore they were divinely blessed. There were any amount of pundits who raised their eyes to the skies and in quivering tones intoned verdicts – the Taliban were a rare breed of fighters, infused with a mythic Pakhtoon warrior spirit that no amount of bombing by the infidels and friends of Satan, could break. When they fled one city after another, one stronghold after another, more warped nonsense gushed forth. This was a strategic diversion, a re-grouping and a ploy to lure the coalition deeper into their territories into elaborate and ingenuous traps only to snare them and annihilate the evil ones. The Taliban on the run were as strategic as my cook buying onions two days in advance.

There were other classics. The Taliban were superior to the Northern Alliance because the former were angels, the latter were devils, never mind both were Muslims. The bombing would not harm the regime’s installations. It would kill some civilians, who in any event were expendable. It didn’t take the Taliban much prodding to bump off anyone they wished to. The Afghans were hostage to the Arabs, misguided Pakistanis and a handful of war merceneries. It is important to note that the Pakis were used as cannon fodder by the Taliban and have died like flies; the Afghans spat on their dead bodies and cursed them to hell. Raised on hate and bigotry, the Madrasa boys have been used. As for the poor, hapless and wretched poor of Afghanistan – the ones who are breaking the walls to see a film in five years, many of their comrades have died. Their blood, and those who will die this winter, in the desolate and parched wasteland or in camps where disease will strike, is on the hands of that great Jehadi, Osama Bin Laden and his one-eyed deputy. As for the allied forces sinking into graveyards prepared by the wily Taliban, dream on. In days, their self-proclaimed supreme hold over the country has come apart at the seams. The Russians may have perished twenty years ago at the hands of the Afghans – not the Taliban, but it is unlikely that the US, British or the rest of the world that supports this initiative, is going to get sucked into the quicksand created by the Taliban. Neither are ‘jinns’ and angels in green going to paratroop into Afghanistan and wreak havoc on the infidels. As for the caves and the strategic strike later, it is more poppycock. The Taliban have had it and when President Pervez Musharraf said this in October, there were any amount of theorists who pointed fingers at him and made rude noises. More water under the bridge.

The widespread rioting and looting hasn’t materialized in Pakistan. The number of cars being snitched are still the same and the same amount of unlucky travelers get bumped off by speeding wagons, coasters, tractor trolleys and buses. Apparently the last great rally inspired by their divine highnesses raised about 300 idiots and that is a poor crowd. Even a cricket test between Zimbabwe and Bangla Desh heading for a draw, pulls more. The religious parties, who between you and me have never quite understood the religion they vociferously preach, are now sullen and silent with their tails desolately tucked between their legs, although one is not sure they sprout tails. At the height of the war, they were able to draw a few hundred stragglers and now with the wind having been sucked out of their sails, silence has descended and croaking noises are all that one hears. Once more, they have demonstrated that their heart has never been in the right place – please don’t ask where it actually is. The vision of the country coming to a standstill never came about. Those of us who were traveling on the great day when the nation was observing a nationwide jam, were not surprised to see that there were more policeman than strikers and just as many buses and cars as on most days. It was another day, beards or no beards. No one wants to support loonies.

The myths have fallen like ninepins. Even the popular one that the Americans will eventually dump Pakistan once they have their man, is going to fall into the garbage dump. Those who think like that are using their elbows not their brains. The Americans may not love us to distraction but they are not entirely a nation of morons and will find many good reasons to support the moderate Musharraf government. Those who run the think tanks in Islamabad – yes the rumours are true; we have some in place there, must understand that the big bad boys who wear dusters on their shoulders, look often like parrots and more often like over fed grizzly bears, are no threat. The common folk recognized this years ago and demonstrated their understanding at every poll that came their way, but somehow Islamabad never quite understood this. There should be no looking back now. The ridiculous laws passed by Zia ul Haq – the blasphemy and the Hudood laws must be revoked. They are not what the people want and heavens will not fall were they struck off forever. The majority of the people are happy to be Muslims and want to get on with their lives. They are answerable to their God not to the self-appointed priests who preach war, death and destruction. For too long we have stood on the sidelines and watched our future and that of our children, jeopardized by ignorant and biased men and women. They have no place in our future and should have had no place in our past as well.