Money Makes the Mare Go

FEBRUARY 2004 - Poor Minister Shahani. Missing in action for so many days and like Osama and Mullah Omar, lost somewhere in those barren and forbidding mountains. And all the king’s men are unable to find him. They have looked everywhere but there is no sign of the Minister. With the Indian cricket team due shortly, I wonder if the Minister will be back in time to see Tendulkar make mince meat of Pakistan. After all we should always remember that Mr. Shahani is the Punjab Minister of Sports and not a car collector.

There are people who are still amazed that a Minister – no less should be so foolhardy and irresponsible to take off into the dreaded FATA areas simply to collect that fancy 4 wheeler for the price of a rickety Suzuki car. There are others who think this FATA business has gone on too long and it is time to put an end to this state-within-a-state caper. Then there are those who are unable to understand a country and its rulers who allow the existence of such oddities like the FATA. Luckily for us the number of those who are handicapped with such obscure thinking, is very small and getting even smaller. Of course they cannot understand the pioneering spirit of such enterprises like the one that drew the Minister into forbidden territories.

Of course there was a time when such behaviour would have outraged the entire country, but mercifully those days are long gone and now the spirit of commerce reigns supreme. In the pursuit of good business, everything is acceptable and whoever says that the religion of this land is Islam obviously has got the wrong end of the stick. People who were thrust into positions of authority took their tasks seriously and made sure that their behaviour was responsible and upright. Thus judges were hardly seen and little was known about them. They shunned publicity with a zeal bordering on insanity and they stayed out of the public circuit. Seeing a judge at a wedding or public function was an uncommon sight. Some broke the mould but many stuck to these ideals of another age like men possessed. Then there were officers who served in such lucrative jobs like income tax and kept their palms scrupulously clean and their noses out of fishy business. They applied the rules and regulations irrespective of whom they were dealing with and because their conscience was squeaky clean, they feared little. There were other officials who held very important posts and still chose to perform their duties in the right and correct manner. Those who took up careers in the police service didn’t turn into gangsters and ruffians simply because they were dealing with scumbags. Instead, they fearlessly applied the law and the harder the criminal the more solid was their stand. The armed forces were full of hardworking, God fearing and professional soldiers who had very little interest in what on around them. Delving into lucrative housing schemes and investing in land deals was a subject about which they didn’t have a clue. They didn’t care either. They led simple lives, went from posting to posting, raised families on the run and were happy to bicycle to work, go for their afternoon sports and return home to the quiet joys of family life. People who took up such low paying careers as teaching spent a lifetime immersed in books and scholarly pursuits, loved and adored by students year after year. When they retired with very little to show in terms of monetary gains, there was no heartburning, no sense of waste and no feeling of a life wasted. Secure in the knowledge they had successfully – and often brilliantly passed on to hundreds of young men and women, they lived out the twilight of their lives in peace and tranquility, though never surrounded by creature comforts or even a remote touch of luxury.

Somewhere along the line, we lost it all. When, where or why most of us don’t quite know. The fact is that suddenly the entire value system turned upside down. The whole complexion of society changed. Robbers became the darlings of society, harlots the toast of gracious living. Upstarts and socially unacceptable cheapsters occupied important positions in every day life. In the services, acquisition of property and lucrative deals became a passion. In the judiciary suddenly justice itself went up for sale and the price simply kept dropping. Officers used power to make money and money to gain power. The number of shady deals shot through thousands of roofs and filthy money and more money became the new god of Pakistani society. Those whom the late Justice Cornelius once identified as names he recalled from the FIRs that were produced before the court, were now the pillars of Pakistani society. Land grabbers became the shining examples of success and even such petty criminals as cattle lifters, became the new saviours of Pakistan. It mattered no longer how and where you had collected your loot. The important thing was how much you had and how much of that were you willing to blow on parties, deals and anything greasy doing the rounds. It no longer mattered who you were or where you came from or indeed where you had studied. All that mattered was what booze you were serving and how much. Relationships once based on solid ground were quickly replaced with what you could squeeze out of the next party.

In all this, why should the adventures of a petty minister from the country’s most powerful province surprise anyone? It would be silly to judge the missing minister on the basis of rules that are largely irrelevant and outdated. No principles other than making a quick buck is at stake here. Like any successful heist this too should have gone through without a hitch but obviously the best deals and the most seasoned business people can fall out particularly over money. The South Waziristanis are not all smugglers or bandits, but they enjoy that peculiar status which is a mystery to those who still think in terms of principles. How a country can allow its sovereignty and its territorial status to be flouted at will is another mystery of sorts that Pakistanis accept without much fuss. The trading of smuggled and stolen cars has gone on for years. Don’t be impressed with the next 4x4 luxury monster you see hissing along the boulevard. The toad sitting inside it has probably paid half the amount you pay for your Suzuki Alto. Forging papers is a developed science and so is the tricky business of forging chassis numbers and engine identification numbers. At the end of the day, it is good business and no one should be allowed to stand in the way of a good deal. In Mr. Shahani’s case, the Rs. 18.9 million ransom asked for by Shawal Bargain Centre – how appropriate, in Miranshah should at least settle this matter. As in all things that hold our lives in thrall, it is money, money, money. Dr. A. Q. Khan can happily confirm.