Goof-Ups in UK

JUNE 1999 - When Sunil Gavaskar exploded the other afternoon at the Oval, it was pretty much the final straw in what has been breaking backs for many people since the month of May- the cricket World Cup. As he fell into his commentator’s chair, out of breath and clearly agitated with the ordeal of climbing five flights of stairs to get to the commentary position, he let the organisers have it, between gasps of heavy breathing and grabbing mouthfuls of oxygen.

Sunny was in full flow about the ‘arrangements’ for this, the cricket world’s most prestigious event, in the traditional home of the game’s keepers. He roared on, saying that had these arrangements been in India, we would have heard no end of it, from the cricket officials, the English press and everybody else including the local fishmonger. Sunny, without alluding in detail to his other ‘experiences’ in England, called the whole show a disgrace and a shame. He said that to climb five floors because there was no lift installed was shameful since this was considered the civilised and advanced world (as opposed to ours of course). We can only imagine what else everybody else has had to put up with in this cold, rain swept and bleak English summer with the odd day of sunshine – like the rare dot balls in the matches. No wonder I cannot make head or tail of the strange language Imtiaz Sipra is using in his dispatches. Quite clearly, the numbing cold has fogged his gray cells and sent him into a delirium.

There have been rumblings going on for almost as long as the tournament. The fact that the Cup has begun in the worst period of the English ‘summer’ was one of the earliest criticisms that surfaced but there were no answers forthcoming. Certainly I didn’t see any. There has been talk about giving the home team, the choicest and driest venues in the south and the wet, finger-numbing north has been home to teams like ours which have slush-sloshed their way across marsh lands passing off as grounds and the curious absence of proper practice areas. What a coincidence. It is also understood that the organisers of this showcase tournament couldn’t even patch together three sponsors to underwrite the Cup, whereas there could and are dozens here and in India who would jump at the opportunity. You’d probably have queues of companies with checkbooks in hand. Cricket it seems is no longer the great puller it used to be, but who’s going to ever admit it ? Instead, one of the two sponsors is an airline, which does not reside in the UK. That too is odd but then the whole event has its share of things odd.

At least the Pakistan team has been constantly complaining about arriving at designated practice areas to find that either they have been hastily converted into reception halls for some party or another, or simply are not available. The team has, to use one of my school day proverbs, had to go from pillar to post to find practice areas. These have of course not measured high on the satisfaction charts but then who’s listening. Most days, the grounds themselves have not been the ideal places to practice, since overnight rain and early morning damp has been quite the norm. As and when these areas have been available, the teams have looked heavenwards and practiced quickly. I have no idea how many complaints have been lodged but I wouldn’t be surprised if they are more than what Ijaz has scored so far.

Then there have been the hiccups with the third umpire set up. The equipment didn’t work at one crucial match and the result could have gone either way because of the absence of the facility, or more accurately the system had a glitch which couldn’t be fixed. This is pardonable in countries like ours where electric supply plays havoc with the most carefully planned systems and where instruments that use power are subjected to the most horrendous onslaught by power companies and their merry men. But in England you would expect things to operate without any problem. So what was happening ? In fact if I recall, there was another issue. The intervention of the third umpire if the situation in the middle warranted such a move. It seemed that the third umpires had not been briefed about their jobs. Certainly the one in this match wasn’t. It’s not the ultimate disaster scenario, but I cannot believe we wouldn’t have been hanged had such a thing happened on any of our grounds here on the subcontinent.

Then I would like to offer the country’s highest award for intelligence and foresight to those who put umpire Javed Akhtar (not a very good umpire on most days) in an England-India crunch match. Holy smoke is the phrase that springs to the lips. I mean out of dozens, could only a Pakistani be found to supervise proceedings at one end ? Can you imagine Akhtar giving Tendulkar lbw to Gough ? More LOC activity here wouldn’t you agree ? Perhaps the organisers think this is rubbish. After all an Australian umpire can be put into a New Zealand- South Africa match, but then they are not quite aware of what Indo-Pak tensions are like when cricket is on the line. They should be since this subject has been quite a centerpiece of discussions this summer in England. Somebody goofed ? That’s more like it. But when they goof up, it is alright and when we do, the skies cave in. That’s the rub.

I cannot understand the logic anymore of giving the Cup to England because while it is very convenient to get from one cricket ground to another, the country is simply not the right one to stage such a huge event. This Cup is much more a TV event because 6500 people in overcoats and umbrellas don’t make a cricket crowd. 40,000 in Lahore do and 95,000 in Calcutta do. The crowds have been deprived of watching some of this century’s greatest players do battle right before their eyes. Instead they have had to be content with advertising showers and an occasional peep at some exciting cricket. I think that some new ground realities have to be heard at Lords, but then again, I think it is unlikely when you hear about the members who own the MCC being asked to fork out a hundred quid for a match at their Club. Quite rightly they did the right thing and simply snorted and abandoned the match. At the end of all this, we hear that the ICC is going to be one very rich body. I suppose that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it ?