Deeply Grieved My Dear

JANUARY 1998 - Some people complain that the column is not entertaining enough, doesn’t make them hold their sides with laughter and causes not even a ripple of mirth in an otherwise dreary existence. Point well taken, but whatever plans I might have had to make this one full of the joy of life, has been more than taken care of by the death of three young tennis players in a cheap youth hostel in Taxila. Has it caused even a flutter in the country ? No prizes for guessing that one. Of course the President and the Prime Minister were deeply shocked, as they always are, bless their souls and of course they prayed to the Almighty to grant eternal peace to the departed souls, quite conveniently forgetting that the Almighty is unlikely to be impressed by the pre-prepared press handout number 34 that is routinely distributed when such calamities strike. As for that silly body called the Pakistan Sports Board, not a peep. And why should it weep over three dead sportsmen since it has absolutely nothing to do with sports ?

As for the shameless organisers, life proceeds with gay abandon. No one is going to take them to task, no heads are going to roll here. At best there will be a few shakes of the head, a deep intake of breath, a look heavenward and on to the next disaster. The public is no longer moved by anything either, so it is not shocking that there hasn’t been one single letter in the newspapers - not that these cause massive earthquakes anyway. The various sports bodies who have all successfully reduced the standards of the games that they patronise, have been brilliantly silent. If they have squeaked, I certainly haven’t heard anything. I don’t know whether the POF was the organising body, because if it was, why weren’t the players lodged in the POF hotel in Wah ? Why were they bundled into a

Rs 40 per night dingy youth hostel in Taxila ? One doesn’t need the imagination of a genius to figure out what the ‘accommodation’ must have been like. Broken cots, threadbare and stinking bedding, bare floors, cold water and the only recourse to anything close to heating, the deadly brazier, which was sufficient to kill all the three lads. So moved were the organisers that a pageant of sorts, the Under 16 Girls Event, continued that very morning, PT display, bands and balloons, all rolled into one hideous mockery of all things decent. There must have been a chief jest who must have surveyed the motley event and taken no notice of three dead youngsters a few miles away. The PSB dodos who must have ‘graced’ the occasion did not have the moral dignity to ask for a minute’s silence for those who were the innocent victims of official callousness. Instead life went on as it always has, at least for those who were part of that hideous charade.

There should be no enquiry because all enquiries are a joke and an insult to the people for whose benefit these are regularly and nauseatingly enacted. If there is any enquiry, we all must boycott its proceedings and throw rotten tomatoes, since rotten eggs are too expensive, at all the fuddy duddies who wear solemn expressions and have hearts of steel. Perhaps it is equally futile to ask those who were connected with this tournament dubbed ‘the richest national tennis tournament’ by one newspaper, why the players who make or unmake a tournament, were penned in a Rs 40 per night youth pigsty. Where were the fat officials lodged and how much TA/DA were they collecting ? Rs 40 a day ? And what about those officials who flaunt badges the size and shape of healthy cauliflower and strut about like idiotic roosters ? Where were they ? Have they been taken to task ? Sorry. Silly question. Three young men are dead even before their prime. One poor family which has devoted its life to tennis has been irreparably shattered, its hopes and small dreams broken forever. So who gives a damn ? I will tell you. No one.

And in the train collision at Rustam Saranga station, would you believe it they have arrested the train driver, the fireman, the guard and the station master. The Divisional Superintendent Railways Multan, Mr. Lutf (an appropriate enough name) had the last word. Said he, that the figures given by the electronic media were incorrect. Only 32 were killed. All praise to Allah. Only 32. Shall we all bow our heads in gratitude to Mr. Lutf that more were not killed ? And can we please ban everyone from seeking Allah’s help in granting courage and fortitude to the bereaved families to bear the loss ? I think we are just about to severely annoy the Almighty who must have had just about enough of this nonsense. As for the funny column, I suggest you read the proceedings of the Presidential Selection, sorry Election.