TrueLies@Pakistan

JULY 2003 - Beginning with ‘the competent authority’ that everyone has known for decades, is anything but competent and ending with ‘the concerned authority’ that too everyone knows is never concerned, uneasily squirms the public life of Pakistan. Every day, without fail and just as surely as your gutter chokes, the people of Pakistan are fed a copious amount of drivel and hogwash which they are expected to savour and enjoy, smack their lips in anticipation and let out sighs of bliss and contentment.

Just as quickly and before they could even begin the awful task of burying the dead of Quetta, the authorities were busy as usual issuing statements that no one finds remotely satisfactory. In fact, rather than pacify the troubled minds of millions in this land, which ostensibly is what the statements are supposed to achieve, they now have just the opposite effect. People sneer, snigger and let off expletives. Life goes on. It is of course a great mystery of our times that other than a handful of brain-dead officials whose lives have been spent churning out bad fiction, no one in the entire country believes a word of those painstakingly composed drafts that are prepared by file-carrying minions of the good government of Pakistan. And because Islamabad has no windows and therefore is unable to see beyond what is just outside – which is usually thoroughly disinfected and sanitized since our beloved officials cannot stomach anything less than that, the farce of lies and more lies rises just as brilliantly as our population curve. Without waiting for the bodies to be lowered in graves in Quetta’s stony land, any amount of men were issuing statements to media people promising ‘swift action’, bringing the ‘culprits to book’ (which book my dear lords?) and carrying out ‘exemplary punishments’. It is a miracle that journalists who are supposed to note down these far reaching and effective directives don’t pass out with fatigue. Burdened with tons of lies and false utterances laid, layer upon layer of their souls, it is only a matter of time that they will one day, simply walk out, throw away their notebooks and runny ballpoints and kick at the first stone they find. But then again, perhaps they may never do that. There is a job to be done, there is a meagre salary cheque to take home and anyone can be conditioned to accept lies. If they don’t report it, someone else will and even if they stop reporting, there is a fat chance the official spokesperson will speak anything but the truth. That’s the way it has always been.

Quetta is not without its tragic irony. The innocent lives snuffed out by brainwashed men filled with fires of hate and rage is tragic enough. After all, those who were mowed down were guilty of praying to their God in His house. They were at the right place but at the wrong time because they simply do not see things the same way as those who are in larger numbers in this citadel of Islam. Might is right and always has been. Forget the poppycock you were taught at school. Thoughts like that are only created for people who can accept others and show respect when dealing with those who may not be as physically strong as they are. When you have brute majority, you become a brute. There were only two policemen ‘guarding’ the prayer hall. That itself should be a matter of national shame. Policemen guard Muslims so that other Muslims may not freely kill them as they kneel and supplicate themselves before the same God. However, they do kill freely as we all know from bitter experience. The Home Secretary – are they called that because they are usually at home? – had no clue. He didn’t even know exactly what was going on and even if he did, he wouldn’t be allowed to speak out the truth. The usual garbage followed and platitudes tossed about like floating plastic shoppers flew around.

‘Culprits would not be spared’ said the Prime Minister who was visiting Quetta that day – another irony following which he looked dutifully solemn even mournful, made all the appropriate noises. No one will be allowed to play with the lives of people, no one will be allowed to break law and order, the government was committed to protect the lives and property of the people and failure of law enforcing agencies will not go unpunished. Big words coming from the big man, but of very little consequence or solace. Someone, who should have his head examined or sent to the funny farm, said the Prime Minister should have resigned. The thought is outrageous. Were he to do that, he would consign this country’s entire leadership, present and future, to eternal fire. The last thing anyone will do here, even if the angels of death are gagging him for the ultimate journey, will be to resign. It is not even in the constitution which when last seen was lying in one of those elegant garbage heaps you find in the F/6s and 7s of Islamabad. One hears that the IGP and some other factotums have been transferred. So what difference does that make? They may as well get a promotion and plots. There is a strong conviction held by all Pakistanis other than those who have sold their souls to their lords and masters in power, that there is no crime committed in Pakistan in which the police are not involved, directly or indirectly. That in every district, every ‘thana’, every area, the police know precisely who is who and doing what, that the pettiest of crimes is not committed without their clearance. True? False? Depends which side of the gun you are. In realistic terms, what can truly be expected of Mr. Jamali? He may have learnt all the right things at Ghora Gali, but that was school. This is reality. In any event, expecting executive decisions with substance from his government is like asking Catherina-Zeta Jones to have dinner with me. Mr. Jamali’s government wobbles on a thin spindle of a coalition which is another name for compromise and let truth never create misunderstanding amongst the partners.

It is also ironical that even as our leisurely President was sauntering through Europe much in the style of Tennyson’s Lotus Eaters, proclaiming another favourite Paki-true lie, our country being a safe and lucrative market for foreign investment, the suicide attackers were polishing off kneeling Muslims in the name of God. Pakistan is as safe as a pool full of very hungry, very angry Piranha fish. Those who venture here, venture with minimal guarantees and the least of these are the ones dished out by Islamabad and its current goalkeepers in various parts of this troubled empire. And while our world collapses all around us, we are kept alive by IV injections of the appropriate lies. Thus, the budget has not affected the common man, the economy is doing wonderfully well, the crime rate is falling at speeds faster than Shoaib Akhtar’s wild deliveries, that the President has had, yet another successful tour adding to the billions of successful tours our leaders have undertaken, that come this monsoon, we will at last be fully prepared for floods and as you wake up tomorrow, a bright future awaits each and every one, other than those we killed yesterday, the millions who we have happily consigned to the lower decks and the rest of this land’s troubled people who neither have power, rights or justice. In all this, we are happy to proclaim this year as Madre Millat year. Sheikh Tulli Sahib – have a heart. Leave the poor lady alone.