The crux of the matter

SEPTEMBER 2000 - I think the sooner we ban all tourism, the better for our battered image. The rape of a six foot and surely strong German fraulein at the hands of a local lout in an area we call Fairy Meadows, is going to further establish us as a nation of sex maniacs and depraved men. Not an inaccurate description too, come to think of it. As for those who are still harbouring visions of calling next year ‘Visit Pakistan Year,’ may one have them removed forthwith to the funny farm and kept there indefinitely ?

Following as this sad incident does on the heels of the ruffians who sexually molested five Dutch girls – most of them in the ‘safe’ attire of Shalwar-Kameez, can only mean that women here are more threatened than ever before and please save the sermons or give me a large supply of sick bags. What with honour killings more popular than cricket, any amount of fathers, brothers, husbands, uncles and other blood-hungry relatives ready to kill, chop and maim at the drop of a hat, the lucky recipients of this ‘honour’ being wives, sisters, mothers and other ill fated female relations, we can look the next century in the eye and say we have arrived.

There is something terribly wrong with the men here. Perhaps it begins with over-protective mothers who raise the males as God’s gift to the world and who ensure that a fair imbalance of rights and privileges is maintained in the home (no prizes for guessing who is mamma’s favourite little kipper). Perhaps it begins when the males are fed first, when the choicest cuts are piled up on the little nerd’s plate while sis serves or waits while the male gobbles up the best part of the meal. Ask most mothers and they will deny that such discrimination ever exists in their homes, but the truth is that girls invariably get the raw end of the stick and the boys get away with blue murder. While their ultimate extravaganza may be the doll’s wedding, the male counterparts are out gallivanting, painting the town whatever colour they can and having a jolly good time. Expressions such as, ‘boys will be boys,’ cover up a lot that goes wrong and since it begins, largely with parents who are blind or grand parents who confuse love with no discipline, there is no way that the system can be even modified to resemble something fair or logical. It is not a surprise to run into immature, spoilt, insecure and pig headed men who having had their way ever since they learnt to sit on the potty, now extend their warped ideas and misshapen and confused thinking to affect the lives of many others, chiefly unsuspecting women. Those that they marry and who fail the acid test of not being like their mothers, are condemned to spend loveless and unhappy lives, producing a grotesque number of children, particularly when there are no males arriving. Once they do so, the cycle begins all over again.

It is in this context that from remote areas like the Fairy Meadows to the cosmopolitan centres of the country, women live under constant threat. The men who do not feel this threat and are impervious to it, will never understand that such a thing exists right under their noses. As and when they run into their brothers who may hold such beliefs that all is not hunky dory for women, they will oppose those holding such strange views. Women like Asma or Hina, to name two fearless champions of women, are rare and regarded as crackpots by most males, who are clearly disturbed and embarrassed by the outspoken Jilani sisters. There are many more women who care and who continue to battle it out in their own little circles, but there are not many who are willing to step outside their worlds and take up other people’s causes.

The German girl may have faced the most traumatic event of her life, one that may very well scar her forever. But, unlikely as it is, we all should lower our heads with shame (if we have heads; I think we have coconuts; shame we definitely don’t have). There are even more reasons to be shocked, not only for what the hooligan did, but the treatment the girl and her friends got from the medical officer in Gilgit, from the police, other “concerned” citizens who were involved and who, from newspaper reports, thought this was the most entertaining thing that had happened in the northern areas since Benazir spoke in Urdu.

Everywhere the German tourist was treated with disrespect and given no cooperation. Apparently even her medical examination was the reason for much amusement, of course at her expense and humiliation. That no one has even been chastised – let’s not get carried away and ask for people to be sacked, transferred, demoted or punished – such things never happen here, speaks volumes for this government’s concern for the safety and well being of its citizens, in this case a foreign-exchange spending guest. Not only the government should be held for gross neglect of its duties. The common people are quite, quite dead as well.

Other than Asma and Hina, there has hardly been a squeak and it seems that for most people, this is a non-event. In any case, we are too busy burning and hacking our own women to notice what happens to foolish tourists who venture up walking paths and are immediately welcomed by our natives, who let me remind you are chivalrous, hospitable and honourable folk. Ask any women, particularly foreign ones, who venture into the northern areas – our fabled land which we claim has no parallel anywhere in the world, and you will hear countless stories of molestation, harassment and downright exploitation. Not surprising that fewer and fewer people want to come here and risk being abducted, raped or both. The KK Highway, which tourists use, is lined at many places with government officials who lie in wait for tourists. If these happen to be women, which they often are, they are then subjected to fear and threats, bodily ‘searched’ again and again and openly asked for sexual favours in return for say a stamp on a passport or simply letting them pass through a barrier. Most officials will deny such things, but as these incidents rise and the world finds out, we will be further isolated and our image (ha, ha, ha) will take more battering. Of course in all this, we will pontificate, tell the world that no one has the value systems we have, that no women anywhere in the world have it made, like here.

In fact not only women tourists but the very concept of hospitality has no place here. Hotels, restaurants and affiliated services without which no tourism ever functions, are in a bad way. There seems to be an enormous attitude problem and the concept of welcoming guests and attending to their needs -- no anticipating them and attending to them, is absent from our national life. This is another area where we run on myths and slogans and cheap philosophy. The truth is that the hospitality business sucks. Next time you are eating in a five star (another joke) hotel, check how often the waiter tops your water glass and how many attempts does it require to catch the attention of one out of a dozen waiters who are loitering about. That’s just about the crux of the matter.