Over & Out

NOVEMBER 2003 - In a way of course, nothing should ever surprise us anymore. If there are still people who believe that the governments that run the country are going to be progressive, broad-minded and tolerant, they have another surprise coming. To expect good things to flow down to them is like asking rivers to flow upstream. It simply won’t happen. Instead, all that is regressive and designed to kill the human spirit is the likely course that will be followed publicly by the power-wielders. In their private lives, they will dally forth on the ‘primrose path’ and have a ball. It’s always been like this.

The damaging and dark Zia years, which may have left many of us mentally screwed up. His long rule left fortunes for his beloved family and astute supporters but his horrible legacy will take a long time, perhaps never, judging the way things are going, to disappear. It has adversely affected our psyche and consequent behaviour. What sin did the poor and oppressed people of Pakistan commit to deserve him for 11 mindless years? The stifling of all things artistic and the definition of what constitutes a believer and what does not has created schisms where none existed. Imagination has been killed. Suffocated to death. The purge of evil in the name of piety is a travesty of truth. What irony, what twist of fate! No longer can one find people who have open minds and are happy to listen to another point of view, particularly if it doesn’t conform to theirs. Dogma rules supreme. Form matters, not content. The ritual is all-important. The essence of what we are all about, nebulous as it was at the best of times, is now a guest that departed a long time ago. Just a faint, flickering scent of its temporary presence remain. In due course, the few traces that are barely discernable now, will further recede into dull memory. We will plod on, surviving on bombast, hypocrisy, deceit and alms that we will receive from all those who will have pity on us or would like to acquire our cheap services to serve their ends. The ensuing debate on who we are, what we are and why we are here - the great national time wasting farce, will continue unchecked. A few feeble voices raised in polite protest will be ignored or shut down resolutely. We will successfully create an arid and barren landscape where to dream would be a major sin. The right moves are already in play.

This may explain partly our fascination with placing bans on everything fashion shows included. What will happen to the nascent designing industry is of course not a matter that takes up too much of their excellencies’ time. Deep thinking is not exactly in fashion in Islamabad ever. Elsewhere in the provinces where cutting down the few trees we still have is enacted with great vigour by administrations, which believe fervently that wider roads means better traffic flow. I suppose the likes of Rizywn Beg, Maheen, Niolfer Shahid and other designers should simply go into shuttlecock burqa designing and have a fashion show soon thereafter compered by anyone who has the longest beard in the country. I am quite certain that given their enormous talent with scissors and cloth, they may create a fashion revolution, which may put the houses of Versace, Christian Dior, Hilfiger and others to flight. Orders from Kabul should keep everyone in clover provided that is not declared sinful activity. People have been known to do strange things whilst in clover. The fashion models who starve every minute of the day should simply throw out the weighing scales, exercise bikes and copies of Atkins diet plan and gorge on big fatty chow 24/7. As for the likes of Tariq Amin and other stylists, a deep and detailed study of what can be done with facial hair, may still keep them in reasonably good nick. There is a wealth of productive and innovative ideas lurking in those dark tresses that the faithful sprout. Since fashion in all forms is bad, we should also get rid of all the music we have. Mercifully, there isn’t much; we successfully killed the good stuff years ago. The few minstrels and such like who loiter on the public stages of the country promoting porn, depravity and alien cultures, should be asked to recite verses and sound unmusical at all times. Some may not have too much difficulty doing that. Dancers, thank God are so small in number, that we don’t need a policy from Mr. Jamali and the hard working Prime Minister should take it easy on that score. The whales and other assorted deep sea mammals that dance in the Punjabi and Pushto cinema, are not to be tinkered with. They are not endangering the morals of the people – or morale as we like to call it and in any case do not qualify as dancers, falling more in the line of sumo wrestlers. As for books and other written materials, we should use them as fuel and not create unnecessary drain on our scarce gas reserves. In any event, reading books never did anyone any good; some of the country’s finest brains have never even stepped inside a primary school. Within a few years, we will have a squeaky clean society where there will be no sin, no crime and no laughter. Did I mention that we should ban laughter since it only causes people to enjoy themselves and that is certainly not what the country’s founding fathers had in mind when they laid the first brick – and what’s more, got away with it too.

While we wait with bated breath for these visionary policies to take shape – don’t be alarmed if the shape is the familiar and much loved figure you see wobbling at public functions in Islamabad, for the past three weeks, Pakistan has been in the grip of a prolonged stupor. The population has barely stirred except at the sight of a ‘samosa’ and most inmates have been barely able to complete a sentence before drifting off into oblivion. Everyone has been sleep walking, glassy-eyed with a world-weary look. The energy has simply oozed out of every one. People struggle to place one step after another. A huge, unimaginable and crushing burden weighs down on the faithful as fasting takes its mighty toll. The month of Ramadhan has not come in the dead heat of a scorching summer where parched throats and exhausting heat, drives everyone into a state of inertia, but from the looks of things this year, we could well be sweating it out in temperatures well above the110 mark. The month has been marked largely with a desire to do nothing, say nothing, speak nothing and just play dead. The overall attitude of those who are fasting seems to be an ultimate sacrifice they are making and a favour they are doing to the creator for whose sake they are undergoing severe torture. In a country where efficiency is almost a swear word, the last three weeks have brought all work to a standstill. Somehow this is yet another reason to avoid doing any serious or meaningful work. Of course religion has nothing to do with it, but then when did it? On top of it, the government, which has completed its first precarious 100 days – rejoice ye all, has thought it fit to declare four holidays. Given the talent that we have for such occasions, it is another colossal waste of time and four days means in Pakistani terms that no serious work will be possible three days before the four days and three days afterwards – putting it optimistically. Eventually, we will slowly limp back to reality and face the world wearily till the next excuse comes along.