In the Dog House

MARCH 2000 - No one knows precisely how many ‘Jinnah’ films have been made. Now we have more mystery to dig into, since no one precisely knows how many scripts were actually written for the film and who wrote them. Akbar S. Ahmed who has carried the Jinnah film on his shoulders like some kind of a holy mantle is back, right in the middle of rumours, half-truths and shady financial dealings. The film which is still to be released here, has run aground, caught in the shallows as its writers, producers, financiers, directors et al wash quite a large heap of dirty linen in full view of the public. No one can now recall when the film was supposed to premiere and in fact no one can with any certainty recall whether it hasn’t already premiered in some parts of the world before very select audiences. Here, rumours of its release have been flying ever since one can remember, but much hype and promotions later, Jinnah is still invisible. Now, as some of us long feared, it has the ugly smell of petty money-squabbling to put this ill-conceived project into further murky gloom.

Those of us who were critical of this project from the first day for many, many reasons that need not be reviewed again since they are fairly well known to anyone so foolish as to read newspapers, were branded anti-patriotic, jealous of Mr. Ahmed’s brilliance and his intellectual greatness, part of a campaign to discredit a noble venture to lift Mr.Jinnah to the same lofty heights where Mr.Gandhi sat, thanks to Richard Attenborough and so on and so on. The message was very clear even then. If you were not a Ahmed groupie, you were a scum bag. The good guys were those who had dined and wined the great film maker, had written glowing accounts of the man and his mission, and more importantly, coughed up a goodly sum of money to make his dreams of being the greatest Pakistani ever, come true. That Mr.Ahmed chose to find fame and (as now seems to be the case), fortune through the only decent Pakistani we ever had, is our tragedy. What sins did Mr. Jinnah commit that his biographer should be a self-serving civil servant with towering ambition like Akbar S. Ahmed, is a question for which none of us have any answer.

The rulers of the day keeled over backwards to please the great writer, intellectual and movie maker, as facilities were opened up, government machinery creaked into action and a stunned nation silenced into accepting the film’s weird premise where Mr.Jinnah is put in the dock to answer charges levelled by the last century’s fattest angel and taken through the wringer before his soul is allowed to escape from purgatory where the film finds him and raises him to heaven having found him not guilty of genocide, wife-neglect, child-negligence, cold-heartedness, snobbery, etc, etc. Dear gods. What an uplifting menu ! In the course of this mad journey, history was conveniently distorted by the Dr. Ahmed, the only noted historian we have (forget Ayesha Jalal – she is just a teacher). Miss Jinnah turned into a cardboard lady and the most significant and glorious moments of those tumultuous years were reduced to a two dimensional, flat and insipid viewpoint whose significance and import were only known to Mr.Ahmed. In spite of a hostile press at home, the film constantly running into financial problems, was finished and Christopher Lee left for home much to the relief of the children of Pakistan. From then till now, we have seen ‘launches’ of the movie so many times that most of us have lost count. Many have claimed to have seen the film. I have seen at least two versions. Others, who are better connected, have seen more. Some of us have seen shots others haven’t. Like the script, the film was constantly undergoing adaptations. There were stories circulating that Mr.Ahmed was cutting different versions for different markets based on business and ethnic considerations. There was a tamer and more bland version getting ready for Pakistan with objectionable scenes having been replaced from the stock that Mr.Ahmed was undoubtedly dipping into every now and then. The truth is, no other project has made so much murky news as this one and no one is quite sure where anything is even today. The reasons for this are rather simple.

Akbar S. Ahmed has an obsession about fame. He is one of the hungriest publicity-seekers one can find and he will not, can not let go of any opportunity to get his name into print and have praise poured all over him. He neutralises those who oppose him, cajoles, pressurises and manoeuvres any one into becoming his positive spokesperson. He will go to any length to find fame and he has any number of people willing to do these errands for him. It was his handiwork to tell this country that so honoured was he as an author that a prestigious book catalogue had placed him at the very top of its list. Quite conveniently, he did not mention that the catalogue was alphabetical. More recently, even before he presented his papers at Buckingham Palace, he had a large news item inserted in the newspapers here which proclaimed in great joy that the Queen had invited him to the palace for tea. What was conveniently omitted was that so was half of England. A friend who also had ‘tea with the Queen’ said that once his uncle, his three kids and a cousin also ended up getting an invite for this tea of all teas. The serious thing is that the news item generated by Mr. Ahmed undoubtedly was meant to inform all and sundry that so important and so significant was this man that the Queen had sought an audience with him even before he had formally presented his credentials ! This is the kind of mischief he creates. If you have the patience, scan the letters to the editors columns of the newspapers and you will find obscure people writing letters of praise about Mr.Ahmed and what great service he is rendering to the country. It is no surprise that hardly any one will give two hoots about any ambassador or high commissioner, because people don’t care, but in Mr. Ahmed’s case, these letters are planted to give his career and his ego, a boost in the right direction.

Now Jamil Dehalvi has gone to court and The Guardian has flashed a lurid story about financial bungling in the Jinnah film. Money has changed hands and those who were working on this blighted project are falling over themselves hurling accusations at one another. Large sums of money have disappeared into off shore accounts and we learn that it is perfectly legit for civil servants of Pakistan to operate off shore accounts in New Jersey. Great ! Mr. Ahmed has claimed all credit (no surprise there) and in so doing also deprived Mr Dehalvi of his money. The matter is sub judice and surely more will emerge later, but silly as it may sound and hopelessly unreal, how can the high commissioner of our country continue to hold office while a case against him or financial wrangling is in the courts in England ? A teacher at Burn Hall said to Akbar S. Ahmed over fifty years ago, ‘Akbar you are as straight as a Jalabee.’ I rest my case.