Hanover Horror

SEPTEMBER 2000 - Not that it really matters but we have scored another disaster at the Hanover World Exposition where our stall was the laughing stock of the entire assembly and a glorious tribute to all that is rotting in this country, which 53 years down a rocky road is lost and without any direction, run by a large number of self-serving and downright stupid officials. One lot of thieves is replaced by another and everyone wants to serve the nation.

There are many architects of the disaster at Hanover judging from the press reports that have emerged but should you ever look up the record of this fiasco, all you will see will be bland reporting and a good number of people taking credit for having failed their country. Any facts that could cause a problem would have been swept under the already bulging carpet and the skeletons locked up in the family cupboard along with many others already hanging there.

The Pakistan Pavilion - we have to call it a pavilion though it was a pigsty from the first day with samosas and other litter-ati strewn all over the pavilion – a sure sign that Pakistanis were there not too long ago, cost a walloping amount of money, obscene by all standards. The area where the pavilion was raised was 720 square meters and cost Rs. 28 million. The ‘decoration’ of the eye sore we constructed set the country back by Rs. 70 million and you will not be given any prizes for guessing where the bulk of that money went. What was on display, other than the pompous and asinine behaviour of the petty officials, was our national failure at its horrible best. Although a group of artisans were flown in from Chiniot, the whole exercise was a waste of money and a further erosion of our threadbare public image which lies in tatters as each day draws to a close.

There were many geniuses at work. There was the Deputy Director and a rep of the FPCCI, who strutted about claiming that he had designed the stall himself and the reason for his claim could well be that he had done so since he knew nothing about designing stalls. Such brilliant thinking has been responsible for many shining lights getting jobs about which they had no clue (which is why they got the jobs in the first place, comprende ?). In reality a Pakistani firm had been given the honour of designing the pavilion, but had only succeeded in creating a monster which was further glorified by any amount of free loaders and junket specialists who had a good time at State expense, that is your money and mine, and then decamped. While daily costs of ‘running’ the stall were about Rs.200,000 – what were they doing ? Eating caviar ? - the Minister who was in Frankfurt a day earlier shunned all requests to inaugurate the pavilion the next day and instead flew back to Pakistan, undoubtedly for a high-powered meeting – did I tell you all meetings attended by the country’s large population of morons, also called officials, are high powered. In fact since 1947 there hasn’t been a meeting which wasn’t high powered.

Instead of the Minister, Mr. Tariq Ikram, a secretary of the Reptile Club of Pakistan, undoubtedly the DMG or the FO, filled in, but in true Paki-official tradition, arrived 45 minutes late, keeping a large number of dignitaries cooling their heels, including Ms Brigitte (no not Bardot) Breuel, the president of the exhibition ! He then poured oil on the fires that were burning amongst all who had waited for his excellency to get his act together, by delivering a 30 minute speech that killed most of the audience who reportedly dropped like flies as he droned on and on. Brilliant ! The Pak Embassy, the FPCCI, the EPB and other equally gifted curses of our country were behind the Hanover Horror, but a leading culprit has ensured more perks and trips having extolled his virtues, qualities and sacrifices to the CE. He will go places. The man knows the ropes.

As is usual with whatever we do, there are claims and counter claims when things go wrong, with all the ‘architects’ passing the buck – a game where we are without competition. Mr. Gul Hanif (claim to fame ?) the ambassador remained blissfully unaware of whatever was going on, preferring to play an intelligent pumpkin instead. Smart man. A great deal of money went down the flush and the turds who had organised the bash, had a great time. As for our image, just throw up and move on.

The Indian pavilion drew 600,000 visitors and was a roaring success. They showcased their country brilliantly, positioning themselves as the perfect blend of legendary traditions and high technology. Their pavilion was a work of art and all those involved, unlike our sorry lot, put their hearts and souls into winning the day for India, and they did. Even Bhutan, according to reports, had a pavilion which should have put us to shame, except we have none. Haven’t had it for years. But why crib about the missed opportunities at Hanover ? Our bureaucrats and generals and other state factotums have squandered billions on harebrained schemes and mismanaged events and still stepped out smelling of roses. The rotten system breeds rotters and the decaying club supports all the things that spell disaster – no planning, no vision, no commitment, no ethics, no morality. In the madness of perpetually working for self-promotion and gain, the country has been let down again and again till no one really wants to come here, do business with us or see our far flung tourist treasures. But hear us speak and you will be impressed. The masters of bombast and preachers of self praise, hundreds of Pakistanis who can make a difference, do make a difference. To themselves. At Expo or raking in billions over arms deals, steel, oil, sugar, secrets – whatever, we prove again and again that never have so many paid the price for so few. A heroes’ welcome for all who raised the flag at Hanover. Where would we be without you ?