Bureaucracy’s Bestiality

APRIL 2002 - Are people who continue to organize music concerts in Pakistan, demented beings from another planet? This is a question that pops up every time another gory account of officialdom at its worst floats up to the surface that leaves most of us shaking our heads in utter disbelief. What is it about music concerts that transform the most staid public official into a frothing and possessed beast? And why is it that to hold one concert, you require permissions from just about everyone in the administration excluding the driver of the town fire brigade – and that too because they don’t have one. Admittedly, administration is hardly the correct word since the mal variety is rampantly on show every time there is an event that has the buzzword ‘music’. One would think that the armies of Satan were descending on our pristine land to forever enthrall it seeing how the worst side of our worst side is on full display.

Last month, another demented organizer – surely who else would go through so much suffering, made an abortive attempt to win over the administration of Karachi, our international cosmopolitan city, in a doomed to fail bid to stage a music concert by the UK-based group, Stereo Nation, who now hold a record of having had more shows cancelled here than shows held! Such undertakings usually involve unearthing every conceivable and inconceivable NOC known to mankind. All officials love NOCs more than their grandchildren- these No Objection Certificates are designed to stop dead anyone right in their tracks, because they can be withheld on any grounds, no questions asked. Getting an NOC in Pakistan is like walking in a minefield blindfolded, lame in one leg and drunk like a lord. In this case, the venue being the Hockey Club – they should rename it NOC Club, since it is permanently showing matches here that don’t actually take place, the organizers had paid the Club in advance but had also had to obtain necessary permissions from – wait for this, the Hockey Federation of Pakistan, the Corps Commander’s Office, the City Nazim’s Office, the Cantonment Board, the Saddar Town Municipal Office, the Commander Karachi (this I confess is a new one for me), the DIG Police and some more factotums that don’t appear on this list. Added to increase flavour in the curry, were other spices such as the CID Special Branch, SP South, SHO Frere Hall and just about all the friendly cops and their friends who adorn the various stations of rest and recreation that the common folk love. The great thing about this list of daunting proportions is that the organizers had obtained the dreaded NOCs, paid whoever had to be paid, and been assured that their function was kosher and would proceed without a hitch.

As the time for the show approached, there was a sudden acceleration in the rumour levels that the show had been/was being cancelled on grounds that no one could quite fathom. From there on, it was a wild goose chase except that there was no wild goose, just some very frustrated people who suddenly were facing the prospect of a cancelled show, massive losses and a huge blow to their credibility. The best of bureaucracy was now in full swing, as one official after another, passed the buck or simply became unavailable, mobiles or no mobiles. No one was prepared to take responsibility and solve what had been a routine concert – Stereo Nation is not Indian and neither is it working for RAW. It’s a band that comes from UK and plays with a DAT machine – a DAT machine is when you don’t want to play live, so you record the music and lip sync, hip sync and dance sync with the pre-recorded sound. Most audiences don’t know it, so it’s okay. The DSP Clifton – he wasn’t in the original cast but made a last minute appearance, the DIG whose cell phone went out of action mysteriously for four hours that afternoon, the Corps Commander, the AIG, the City Nazim, all appeared and disappeared at intervals and in between, the cops locked the Hockey Stadium and all who were inside it and so on and so on. In the end, the bureaucrats won, as they usually do and the group having flown in from UK, cooled their heels in their hotel and wondered which planet of the apes they had fallen on. In another country, the organizers would have sued the city administration but here that would amount to suicide, so all that can be done is to lick your wounds and count your losses. There is no enquiry and in any event, if there is one, we all know what that means.

This is not the first time such high-handed and totally callous behaviour has been exhibited by those whose only job is to ensure things go smoothly. It would not be inaccurate to say that their first job is to ensure how things don’t go smoothly, so every kind of impediment is created and placed before the organizers and money, free passes extorted all through. The people at Karachi are not the first victims because in other cities and at other times, many more have been similarly victimized. The Peers more than anybody else because they are mad enough to hold the most of such impossible events. The details of their mishaps are far too many to recount but we all know what they have been subjected to again and again. Why does one have to obtain so many permissions? Why is it necessary to involve so many bodies and so many officials? It is not that we are staging concerts attended by 50,000 fans or that an entire city’s traffic system would grind to a halt the day the concert opens? All officials extort money so they all have a vested interest in keeping this farce going. Obtaining sanctions is deliberately made complicated so that permissions are hard to get and rates can therefore be upped. Since no one is accountable or eventually responsible, it is easy to deflect the problem to another body and so on, while time ticks on raising the rates further. Those who are not taking money – and of that species surely none survive, simply use their powers to get a kick and massage their extremely fragile egos. It is a good feeling to see another human being cringing and pleading before you while you can assume postures associated with royalty. The country’s arts councils are also full of officials whose first job is to say ‘no’ and second to say, ‘cannot be done.’ There is an attitude of non-cooperation and gross indifference and there is not the slightest regard for commitment of any kind.

The incident at Karachi should lead to something. Perhaps all the performing artists – and there are many should launch a signature campaign that demands proper and simpler procedures to hold something as innocuous as music concerts – we are not launching nuclear missiles after all, and that minimal administrative interference should be made mandatory in the same spirit in which a thousand NOCs are made mandatory. Who is going to start this? I would suggest the country’s organizers should, unless they are heavily into M&S.