Boating in Lahore

JULY 2000 - Why are we pushing people to go to the utterly remote and difficult northern areas when there are unfathomed tourism opportunities abounding right here in every town and city ? The recent start of the monsoons has opened the floodgates – if you will pardon the unfortunate expression, of exciting adventure possibilities where entire families can now join in communal fun and frolic. All you need is your family bath tub and a couple of flat poles and you are in for a day of sightseeing and pleasure.

I can’t speak for some of the more exotic scenic towns and cities that we have such as Gojra, Gujranwala in the ‘G’ category or Burewala, Bahawalnagar in the ‘B’ category, but perhaps Lahore being so typical of the country can be a good example to understand the enormous tourism potential. Select any rainy day, while it is raining is even more romantic and set out on your tub. If you live downtown, the hub of culture and smuggled goods and the section where Lahoris and the rest of Pakistan descend in obscene numbers once a year in February (and are then never seen again for a year), it might be a good idea to float out at Misri Shah and head in the general direction of the river Ravi. Now some people at the WWF in particular, are going around saying that a large gutter does not qualify as a river, particularly when fish, tadpoles and other decent river folk have already migrated to the tannery-rivers of Kasur. It is reported that ecologically, Kasur is preferable to Ravi but that may just be more Indian propaganda to hoodwink us about Kargil.

However, paddling down to the ‘Old’ Ravi you can float along the historic ramparts of the Lahore Fort and dwell on what madness possessed the Mughals to spend so much money or mortar and stuff to build forts of a size that can house elephants but not much else. As a tourist spot it is one of the highlights of this river cruise simply because in a few years we hope to bring the fort down brick by brick. A plaza would be infinitely preferable and is very much on the cards. At the crossing – you will recognise this by the sight of a submerged pole though sadly it is just a traffic light and not Minar-e-Pakistan, turn left unless you wish to reach the Baradari which when not stinking is well under water during the rains. Just as well, because under water you can ignore what LDA and other gifted sons of the soil did to aesthetically improve this 17th century monument. Now it looks like a 21st century ghetto which is just as well. However, having missed the Minar which is opposite of the Lahore Fort and opposite in every other way as well, you can now row past the Lady Willingdon Hospital. Were Lady Willingdon to visit it, it is certain she would be die of incurable infections before she can reach the first ward. Just as well, she is dead already. There is not much in the way of tourism here unless you can boat inwards veering left but that area is dead during the day and dead during the night as well. When a red light district has more cops than visitors and more pimps than customers, they might as well close the lights.

As a water-city, Lahore is quite unique. Not only does it have a body of chemical sewage flowing on one side, but it has a canal that runs right across the city where people bathe when not engaged in molesting foreign women or making lewd gestures at their own. Then, to add to the wonderful scenario, there is another large canal of pure, unadulterated black-pitch sewage floating alongside some of Lahore’s most fashionable residential district and just to show you that Lahore is impartial, a similar canal running right through the mid-section of the town, the pride and joy of all who live alongside it, particularly the residents of Samnabad. But while its canals, like that of its sister city, Venice, are its pride and joy, the city rejoices in the multitude of streets and avenues where rivers flow between the months of July and September. Boaters have a choice of taking the Sewage Cruises as they are popularly known in the global tourist markets or simply the Canal Cruises particularly if you like to be molested. In fact, one of the highlights of the boating brochures published regularly just before the monsoons, lists several advantages of the city’s waterways, claiming that so far no one has quite managed to tell the canal from the sewage from the river from the monsoon-flow. This is considered unique.

However, the best is yet to come. As you paddle away in your family tub, with the children excitedly pointing out fallen electric poles and electrocuted linesmen, you can cruise past the shrine of Data Ganj Baksh, provided it hasn’t rained too hard. If that is the case, you might not be able to see the shrine except perhaps the top of the minarets. But let the knowledge that it’s there, reassure you. It is a tourist spot after all and if you can’t see it, take a boat ride when there’s less rain about. Further up you can either hang a left which will take you to what at first sight might look like the lost city of Atlantis. Worry not, this is only Shahalmi and while you may boat serenely over its streets and byways, do remember that once this was the bustling trade centre of the city where people lived and children played in the streets till WASA came along and started its watershed (forgive the pun) program of city drainage. Experts believe that Shahalmi might be a link with Atlantis. If around this time, everyone is in the mood for a snack, you can continue down the Mall – ignore the building that is on your right and the sight of people in black coats floating on the surface. It’s the High Court and lawyers respectively and both can be ignored. You can stop at Salt n Pepper & Water or carry on veering left to Lakhsmi where if not swept away, you might find some local delicacies served by smart street waiters who are now regarded amongst the world’s best swimming waiters.

On good rainy days, you may not see the canal because Lahore usually represents a wide and panoramic sweep of water from one end to the other and the canal is somewhere there, but as you float among the tree tops you will be happy to learn that under you is GOR I which is not the title of another gory flick, but the happy abode of the country’s civil serpents – a deadly variety against whose bite no anti-potion has yet been produced. If you are a scuba-diving enthusiast, rich treasures of ancient files await the intrepid explorer, but permission might be a trifle hard to obtain since the Civil Secretariat disappeared during the last monsoons and was discovered near Panjnad. Efforts to tow it back have remained unsuccessful. A little further up lies Gulberg, once considered the city’s elite area. Now sadly there is nothing to see except the odd Plaza still up. Most of Gulberg lies scattered on the vast Punjab plain that is the part that hasn’t already been swept out to the Arabian Sea and is now happily somewhere north of Muscat. What is however visible on less rainy days is the Mian Boulevard which sadly is not part of the boating circuit. While it is relatively dry it can be reached by foot or car but is no longer boat-able.

If your tub has still floating properties and you are not cramped for space – tubs can be notoriously tight even for two, you might continue to explore the water city and with the help of a map, make out various landmarks that are sometimes visible and at other times, lie tranquil and silent as life goes on flotsam and all. A water safari in any city of the Punjab is a must and will be a very moving experience, particularly if you keep moving.